5 Spices That Can Help You Lose Weight.
by Kaboodle.com
Athough we’re inclined to scour the Web in search of the best diets and meal plans, the truth is, some of the tools to weight-loss success are already on your spice rack! Here are five ingredients that not only add flavor to your favorite dishes but can help in your battle against the bulge.
1. Cinnamon
A 2003 study published in Diabetes Care showed that as little as one teaspoon of cinnamon per day can boost the body’s weight-loss ability by reducing blood sugar and promoting healthier processing of carbohydrates. It also lowers LDL cholesterol (bad cholesterol) by seven to 27% and total cholesterol by 12 to 26%. Plus, cinnamon has been shown to prevent the metabolic syndrome commonly seen in pre-diabetics. But before you go on piling the spice by spoonful, note that cinnamon contains a chemical called coumarin, which can lead to liver damage if consumed in very large amounts.
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2. Cayenne
The main ingredient in spicy cayenne—capsaicin, which is also found in other hot peppers—has long been studied for its fat-burning abilities and thermogenic properties (the stimulating of the central nervous system to produce heat in the body, leading to an increase in calorie burning). In fact, Nicholas Perricone, M.D., cites several of these studies in his wildly popular The Perricone Weight-Loss Diet and concludes that capsaicin acts as an appetite suppressant. Many think that cayenne pepper promotes weight loss because it’s simply difficult to overindulge in spicy food. However, later studies performed by the Journal of Obesity also found that the spice increases fat oxidation, “ramps up energy expenditure, and stimulates activity by the sympathetic nervous system”—all which help the body to shed excess weight. Not a fan of fiery cuisine? Not to worry! Research has found that cayenne’s ability to reduce appetite is equally effective whether ingested as food or in capsule form.
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3. Black Pepper
Among the dozens of health benefits of this common household ingredient is its ability to improve digestion and promote the absorption of nutrients in tissues all over the body. Plus, its main component—piperine (which gives pepper its pungent taste)—boosts fat metabolism by as much as 8% for several hours after ingesting it. If you want your pepper to pack the most punch, use freshly ground pepper, which has the most concentrated amounts of piperine.
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4. Mustard Seed
Like the other hot ingredients on this list, spicy mustard helps boost metabolism and allows you to burn fat more quickly, thanks in part to its thermogenic properties. Scientists at England’s Oxford Polytechnic Institute recently found that eating just one teaspoon of hot mustard can “boost metabolism 20 to 25% for several hours after eating, resulting in an additional burn of about 45 calories if a 700-calorie meal is consumed.”
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5. Ginger
Long used for its medicinal properties, ginger is also an effective diuretic (a substance that increases the elimination of urine). It improves gastric mobility (i.e. it pushes food and waste through the digestive system) and hinders the absorption of cholesterol. Although according to the Mayo Clinic, more study is needed, preliminary evidence suggests that this versatile spice helps to increase metabolism.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
The Grey-Haired Brigade
My "Uncle" Bing sent this to me. You may or may not agree with parts of it,
but it's an eloquent statement none the less.
The Grey-Haired Brigade !!!
They like to refer to us as sr. citizens, old fogies, geezers, and in some cases dinosaurs. Some of us are "baby boomer" getting ready to retire.
Others have been retired for some time. We walk a little slower these days and our eyes and hearing are not what they once were. We have worked hard, raised our children, worshipped our God and grown old together. Yes, we are the ones some refer to as being over the hill and that is probably true.
But before writing us off completely, there are a few things that need to be taken into consideration. In school we studied English, history, math, and
science which enabled us to lead America into the technological age. Most of us remember what outhouses were, many of us with firsthand experience. We remember the days of telephone party-lines, ten cent gasoline, and milk and ice being delivered to our homes. For those of you who don't know what an
icebox is, today they are electric and referred to as refrigerators. A few even remember when cars were started with a crank. Yes, we lived those days.
We are probably considered old fashioned and out-dated by many. But there are a few things you need to remember before completely writing us off. We
won WW II and fought in Korea and Viet Nam. We can quote the pledge of allegiance, and know where to place our hand while doing so. We wore the uniform of our country with pride and lost many friends on the
battlefield.
We didn't fight for the Socialist States of America, we fought for the "land of the free and home of the brave." We wore different uniforms but carried the same flag. We know the words to the Star Spangle Banner, America, and America the Beautiful by heart, and you may even see some tears running down our cheeks as we sing. We have lived what many of you have only read about in history books and we feel no obligation to apologize to anyone for America.
Yes, we are old and slow these days but rest assured, we have at least one good fight left in us. We have loved this country, fought for it, and died for it, and now we are going to save it. It is our country and nobody is
going to take it away from us. We took oaths to defend America against all enemies, foreign and domestic, and that is an oath we plan to keep. There are those who want to destroy this land we love but, like our founders,
there is no way we are going to remain silent. It was the young people of this nation who elected Obama and the Democratic congress. You fell for the "Hope and change" which in reality was nothing but "Hype and lies." You have tasted socialism and seen evil face to face, and have found you don't like it after all.
You make a lot of noise but most are all too interested in their careers and "Climbing the social ladder" to be involved in such mundane things as patriotism and voting. It appears that we care more about our grandchildren than some care about their children. Many of those who fell for the "great lie" in 2008 are now having buyer's remorse. With all the education we gave
you, you didn't have sense enough to see through the lies and instead drank the kool-aid. Now you're paying the price and complaining about it. No jobs, lost mortgages, higher taxes, and less freedom. This is what you voted for and this is what you got. We entrusted you with the Torch of Liberty and you traded it for a paycheck and fancy house.
Well, don't worry youngsters, the Grey Haired Brigade is here, and in two months we are going to take back our nation. We may drive a little slower than you would like but we get where we're going, and in November we're
going to the polls by the millions. This land does not belong to the Muslim in the White House or to Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid. It belongs to We the People,
and We the People plan to reclaim our land and our freedom. We hope this time you will do a better job of preserving it and passing it along to our grandchildren.
So the next time you have the chance to say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand up, put your hand over your heart, honor our country, and thank God for the old geezers of the Grey-Haired Brigade.
but it's an eloquent statement none the less.
The Grey-Haired Brigade !!!
They like to refer to us as sr. citizens, old fogies, geezers, and in some cases dinosaurs. Some of us are "baby boomer" getting ready to retire.
Others have been retired for some time. We walk a little slower these days and our eyes and hearing are not what they once were. We have worked hard, raised our children, worshipped our God and grown old together. Yes, we are the ones some refer to as being over the hill and that is probably true.
But before writing us off completely, there are a few things that need to be taken into consideration. In school we studied English, history, math, and
science which enabled us to lead America into the technological age. Most of us remember what outhouses were, many of us with firsthand experience. We remember the days of telephone party-lines, ten cent gasoline, and milk and ice being delivered to our homes. For those of you who don't know what an
icebox is, today they are electric and referred to as refrigerators. A few even remember when cars were started with a crank. Yes, we lived those days.
We are probably considered old fashioned and out-dated by many. But there are a few things you need to remember before completely writing us off. We
won WW II and fought in Korea and Viet Nam. We can quote the pledge of allegiance, and know where to place our hand while doing so. We wore the uniform of our country with pride and lost many friends on the
battlefield.
We didn't fight for the Socialist States of America, we fought for the "land of the free and home of the brave." We wore different uniforms but carried the same flag. We know the words to the Star Spangle Banner, America, and America the Beautiful by heart, and you may even see some tears running down our cheeks as we sing. We have lived what many of you have only read about in history books and we feel no obligation to apologize to anyone for America.
Yes, we are old and slow these days but rest assured, we have at least one good fight left in us. We have loved this country, fought for it, and died for it, and now we are going to save it. It is our country and nobody is
going to take it away from us. We took oaths to defend America against all enemies, foreign and domestic, and that is an oath we plan to keep. There are those who want to destroy this land we love but, like our founders,
there is no way we are going to remain silent. It was the young people of this nation who elected Obama and the Democratic congress. You fell for the "Hope and change" which in reality was nothing but "Hype and lies." You have tasted socialism and seen evil face to face, and have found you don't like it after all.
You make a lot of noise but most are all too interested in their careers and "Climbing the social ladder" to be involved in such mundane things as patriotism and voting. It appears that we care more about our grandchildren than some care about their children. Many of those who fell for the "great lie" in 2008 are now having buyer's remorse. With all the education we gave
you, you didn't have sense enough to see through the lies and instead drank the kool-aid. Now you're paying the price and complaining about it. No jobs, lost mortgages, higher taxes, and less freedom. This is what you voted for and this is what you got. We entrusted you with the Torch of Liberty and you traded it for a paycheck and fancy house.
Well, don't worry youngsters, the Grey Haired Brigade is here, and in two months we are going to take back our nation. We may drive a little slower than you would like but we get where we're going, and in November we're
going to the polls by the millions. This land does not belong to the Muslim in the White House or to Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid. It belongs to We the People,
and We the People plan to reclaim our land and our freedom. We hope this time you will do a better job of preserving it and passing it along to our grandchildren.
So the next time you have the chance to say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand up, put your hand over your heart, honor our country, and thank God for the old geezers of the Grey-Haired Brigade.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Double Think: Curious Logic of Our Governing Elites
Double Think: The Curious Logic of Our Governing Elites
By Randall Hoven
George Orwell said, "There are some ideas so wrong that only a very intelligent person could believe in them."
What follows is my beginning of a list of ideas that some very intelligent people seem to believe:
The air should be taxed. More precisely, what every animal on earth exhales and what every plant on earth inhales can and should be taxed.
President Bush was bad for the economy because he spent too much. President Obama is helping the economy by spending 3 ½ times that amount..
A jury is better informed if evidence is withheld from it.
The Boy Scouts are wrong for having policies that inhibit pedophilia. The Catholic Church was wrong for not having policies that inhibit pedophilia.
An economy in which government accounts for about 40% of economic activity, which owns a similar percentage of all land, and which enforces a stack of regulations the size of 64 Bibles (or 30 New Deals) is considered a radical laissez-faire free market.
Grabbing a person by his shirt and pulling him toward you is an "enhanced interrogation technique" not in the Army Field Manual. It is therefore "tantamount to torture" and out of bounds for any government agency or contractor to use when asking a terrorist what his plans are. Simply dropping a bomb on him, though, with neither trial nor tribunal, and killing him and anyone near him, including his wife, children, family and friends, is OK.
Stopping Saddam Hussein by force was wrong because he did not have WMD. Using force against the Taliban is OK despite no one even claiming the Taliban has, or ever had, or ever intend to obtain, WMD. It was also OK to use force against the government of Yugoslavia, which had no WMD and had never harmed or threatened anyone outside Yugoslavia.
Using force against Saddam Hussein just because he was a mass murderer was wrong because we cannot be the policeman for the world. This despite two wars that he started, killing about one million people, mostly Muslims; despite hundreds of mass graves containing hundreds of thousands of bodies; despite using chemical weapons on his own people; and despite a record of torture.
However, using force, including the bombing of population centers, against the Serbs for killing perhaps 2,000 people -- many in the KLA, a certified terrorist organization -- was OK.
It was wrong to use force against Saddam Hussein because the inspections/sanctions regime was working. However, the inspections/sanctions regime was wrong because it was killing half a million Iraqi children.
It was foolish to let Saddam Hussein go in 1991. It was foolish to go after him in 2003.
It is wrong to use force against any country just because you think it might obtain or develop nuclear weapons; that is preemptive. It is wrong to use force against a country that already has nuclear weapons, since that could start a nuclear war. It is wrong to defend against incoming nuclear bombs because that is seen as provocative against countries that have nuclear bombs. Sanctions are also wrong because they kill children and provoke people (see above). In summary, it is wrong to defend yourself against nuclear weapons or any WMD, at any stage of their development or use, by any means other than politely asking your enemies to "stop that."
It is wrong to ask any person for his papers, even after that person has committed a crime and fits the profile of an illegal immigrant, and even though all non-citizens must carry identification papers per federal law. It is OK to ask every citizen in the U.S. to prove he or she has health insurance.
The federal government can force a state to recognize gay marriages because of the 14th Amendment. The federal government cannot force a state to not recognize gay marriages because of the 10th Amendment.
Toilet tank capacity is interstate commerce. "Public use" of private property includes handing it over to another private owner. Large seasonal puddles connected to no other bodies of water are "navigable waters" as far as the government and its regulators are concerned.
The phrase "nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty or property, without due process of law" means (a) it is OK to deprive property owners of their property and (b) it is not OK for a state to outlaw depriving life to any baby whose head has not left the birth canal.
The phrase "the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed" means it's OK to outlaw owning or carrying handguns.
The clause "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof" means a public school must prohibit voluntary, student-led prayer at all school events, including football games. But it is OK for government to subsidize "art" such as a crucifix in a pitcher of urine.
The clause that says Congress shall make no law "abridging the freedom of speech" does not include workplace speech that might be considered racially or sexually offensive, commercial speech not approved by a federal regulatory agency, or political speech too close to an election.
A guy who made a $34,000 mistake on his own taxes is the best choice to be in charge of the IRS and the entire federal treasury. The guy with thirteen House ethics charges against him, including misusing federal resources and not paying taxes on his villa in the Dominican Republic, should be in charge of writing the country's tax laws. The guy who told us in 2005 that a housing bubble was nonsense and Fannie Mae was in fine shape should be writing in 2010 the regulations to overhaul all finance conducted in this country.
One way to a colorblind society is to ask for "race" on every official form. Another way is to add points for certain races on civil service exams and to use different cutoffs for different races on things like ACT, SAT, and LSAT scores when deciding whom to accept in educational institutions.
The way to increase jobs is to raise taxes on those who provide them and give money to those who don't have them.
The way to reduce health care costs is to mandate that every person have health insurance and that that insurance cover every possible physical health - and mental health - related cost, including massage therapists, social workers, drug and alcohol abuse treatment, acupuncture, hair prostheses, and about two thousand other insurance mandates levied by government.
It was right to take John McCain to court, through oral arguments and written opinion, to prove that he is "natural born," despite both his parents being U.S. citizens their whole lives and despite being the son and grandson of U.S. Navy admirals. It was wrong, even insane, to think Barack Obama should have to prove his birth status to anyone prior to taking the oath of office as president.
Enough for now. I started this with a quote from Orwell, and that is how I will end it.
Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them.
Randall Hoven is the creator of Graph of the Day. He can be contacted at randall.hoven@gmail.com or via his website, randallhoven.com.
In order to be a successful politician it is almost essential that you have no original ideas on social matters. — F. A. Hayek
"There is no means of avoiding a final collapse of a boom brought about by credit expansion. The alternative is only whether the crisis should come sooner as a result of a voluntary abandonment of further credit expansion, or later as a final and total catastrophe of the currency system involved." -
"The boom produces impoverishment. But still more disastrous are its moral ravages. It makes people despondent and dispirited. The more optimistic they were under the illusory prosperity of the boom, the greater is their despair and their feeling of frustration. The individual is always ready to ascribe his good luck to his own efficiency and to take it as a well-deserved reward for his talent, application, and probity. But reverses of fortune he always charges to other people, and most of all to the absurdity of social and political institutions. He does not blame the authorities for having fostered the boom. He reviles them for the inevitable collapse. In the opinion of the public, more inflation and more credit expansion are the only remedy against the evils which inflation and credit expansion have brought about." -Ludwig von Mises, Human Action, 1949
By Randall Hoven
George Orwell said, "There are some ideas so wrong that only a very intelligent person could believe in them."
What follows is my beginning of a list of ideas that some very intelligent people seem to believe:
The air should be taxed. More precisely, what every animal on earth exhales and what every plant on earth inhales can and should be taxed.
President Bush was bad for the economy because he spent too much. President Obama is helping the economy by spending 3 ½ times that amount..
A jury is better informed if evidence is withheld from it.
The Boy Scouts are wrong for having policies that inhibit pedophilia. The Catholic Church was wrong for not having policies that inhibit pedophilia.
An economy in which government accounts for about 40% of economic activity, which owns a similar percentage of all land, and which enforces a stack of regulations the size of 64 Bibles (or 30 New Deals) is considered a radical laissez-faire free market.
Grabbing a person by his shirt and pulling him toward you is an "enhanced interrogation technique" not in the Army Field Manual. It is therefore "tantamount to torture" and out of bounds for any government agency or contractor to use when asking a terrorist what his plans are. Simply dropping a bomb on him, though, with neither trial nor tribunal, and killing him and anyone near him, including his wife, children, family and friends, is OK.
Stopping Saddam Hussein by force was wrong because he did not have WMD. Using force against the Taliban is OK despite no one even claiming the Taliban has, or ever had, or ever intend to obtain, WMD. It was also OK to use force against the government of Yugoslavia, which had no WMD and had never harmed or threatened anyone outside Yugoslavia.
Using force against Saddam Hussein just because he was a mass murderer was wrong because we cannot be the policeman for the world. This despite two wars that he started, killing about one million people, mostly Muslims; despite hundreds of mass graves containing hundreds of thousands of bodies; despite using chemical weapons on his own people; and despite a record of torture.
However, using force, including the bombing of population centers, against the Serbs for killing perhaps 2,000 people -- many in the KLA, a certified terrorist organization -- was OK.
It was wrong to use force against Saddam Hussein because the inspections/sanctions regime was working. However, the inspections/sanctions regime was wrong because it was killing half a million Iraqi children.
It was foolish to let Saddam Hussein go in 1991. It was foolish to go after him in 2003.
It is wrong to use force against any country just because you think it might obtain or develop nuclear weapons; that is preemptive. It is wrong to use force against a country that already has nuclear weapons, since that could start a nuclear war. It is wrong to defend against incoming nuclear bombs because that is seen as provocative against countries that have nuclear bombs. Sanctions are also wrong because they kill children and provoke people (see above). In summary, it is wrong to defend yourself against nuclear weapons or any WMD, at any stage of their development or use, by any means other than politely asking your enemies to "stop that."
It is wrong to ask any person for his papers, even after that person has committed a crime and fits the profile of an illegal immigrant, and even though all non-citizens must carry identification papers per federal law. It is OK to ask every citizen in the U.S. to prove he or she has health insurance.
The federal government can force a state to recognize gay marriages because of the 14th Amendment. The federal government cannot force a state to not recognize gay marriages because of the 10th Amendment.
Toilet tank capacity is interstate commerce. "Public use" of private property includes handing it over to another private owner. Large seasonal puddles connected to no other bodies of water are "navigable waters" as far as the government and its regulators are concerned.
The phrase "nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty or property, without due process of law" means (a) it is OK to deprive property owners of their property and (b) it is not OK for a state to outlaw depriving life to any baby whose head has not left the birth canal.
The phrase "the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed" means it's OK to outlaw owning or carrying handguns.
The clause "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof" means a public school must prohibit voluntary, student-led prayer at all school events, including football games. But it is OK for government to subsidize "art" such as a crucifix in a pitcher of urine.
The clause that says Congress shall make no law "abridging the freedom of speech" does not include workplace speech that might be considered racially or sexually offensive, commercial speech not approved by a federal regulatory agency, or political speech too close to an election.
A guy who made a $34,000 mistake on his own taxes is the best choice to be in charge of the IRS and the entire federal treasury. The guy with thirteen House ethics charges against him, including misusing federal resources and not paying taxes on his villa in the Dominican Republic, should be in charge of writing the country's tax laws. The guy who told us in 2005 that a housing bubble was nonsense and Fannie Mae was in fine shape should be writing in 2010 the regulations to overhaul all finance conducted in this country.
One way to a colorblind society is to ask for "race" on every official form. Another way is to add points for certain races on civil service exams and to use different cutoffs for different races on things like ACT, SAT, and LSAT scores when deciding whom to accept in educational institutions.
The way to increase jobs is to raise taxes on those who provide them and give money to those who don't have them.
The way to reduce health care costs is to mandate that every person have health insurance and that that insurance cover every possible physical health - and mental health - related cost, including massage therapists, social workers, drug and alcohol abuse treatment, acupuncture, hair prostheses, and about two thousand other insurance mandates levied by government.
It was right to take John McCain to court, through oral arguments and written opinion, to prove that he is "natural born," despite both his parents being U.S. citizens their whole lives and despite being the son and grandson of U.S. Navy admirals. It was wrong, even insane, to think Barack Obama should have to prove his birth status to anyone prior to taking the oath of office as president.
Enough for now. I started this with a quote from Orwell, and that is how I will end it.
Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them.
Randall Hoven is the creator of Graph of the Day. He can be contacted at randall.hoven@gmail.com or via his website, randallhoven.com.
In order to be a successful politician it is almost essential that you have no original ideas on social matters. — F. A. Hayek
"There is no means of avoiding a final collapse of a boom brought about by credit expansion. The alternative is only whether the crisis should come sooner as a result of a voluntary abandonment of further credit expansion, or later as a final and total catastrophe of the currency system involved." -
"The boom produces impoverishment. But still more disastrous are its moral ravages. It makes people despondent and dispirited. The more optimistic they were under the illusory prosperity of the boom, the greater is their despair and their feeling of frustration. The individual is always ready to ascribe his good luck to his own efficiency and to take it as a well-deserved reward for his talent, application, and probity. But reverses of fortune he always charges to other people, and most of all to the absurdity of social and political institutions. He does not blame the authorities for having fostered the boom. He reviles them for the inevitable collapse. In the opinion of the public, more inflation and more credit expansion are the only remedy against the evils which inflation and credit expansion have brought about." -Ludwig von Mises, Human Action, 1949
Friday, September 24, 2010
The Worst Mistake You Can Make On Your Resume
The Worst Mistake You Can Make On Your Resume
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EmailPrint..Karen Burns, On Wednesday September 15, 2010, 11:46 am EDT
Fact: Job hunters obsess about resumes. Who wouldn't? There's so much to get right--functional versus chronological, objective statements (pro and con), key words, templates, references, font size, white space, action verbs, employment gaps, placement and style of bullets, typos, and whether to include hobbies (probably a "no" on that last one).
So much, in fact, that we often forget the most important ingredient of a really great, interview-obtaining, new-job-snagging resume: It needs to be written specifically for the job you're after.
Does that mean you have to do a new resume for every single position you apply for? Yes, that's exactly what it means.
[See 21 Secrets to Getting the Job.]
Fear not, this is not as laborious as it sounds. You don't have to start from scratch each time. All you need to do is edit--or refocus--your "master" resume to sync with the job in question. How?
--First, read and reread the job description. Study it. Ponder it. Identify the words and phrases the employer uses to describe the position.
--Next, take a look your work accomplishments, certifications, education, and experience. You should be keeping lists of all this stuff. This is the raw data you draw on to craft your resumes and cover letters, too.
--Then ask yourself which of your credentials can honestly be described using the same words and phrases the employer uses in the job description.
--Finally, take those words and phrases and use them to describe yourself in your resume. From this point, all you have to do is plug in info from your master resume. See, it's not a total rewrite. In fact, most of your resume will stay the same. You'll find that customizing your resume gets easier each time you do it.
[See more job advice at U.S. News Careers.]
A few more thoughts to consider:
--If you use a career objective at the top of the page, it should include the exact job title of the position you're seeking.
--Remove experience/qualifications that have nothing to do with the job in question. You want to make it easy for employers to see the credentials they most care about.
--Try to figure out what credentials are of highest importance to the employer and put those first. Pretend you are in the employer's shoes and ask yourself, "What's my biggest need? What's most important to me about this job?" Talk to your mentor and contacts in the field. Try to find people who are already doing the job you want and ask them, "What is the most important part of your job?"
--If your past job titles are ambiguous, overly jargony, or don't obviously relate to the job you're applying for, rephrase them in laymen's terms--in a way that shows how those past jobs qualify you for this new job.
So, what's the worst mistake you can make on your resume? Failing to customize. It's a new employment market out there. A cookie-cutter resume just doesn't cut it anymore. You need to show your potential employer that you're applying for this job, not just any job. Good luck.
Karen Burns is the author of the illustrated career advice book The Amazing Adventures of Working Girl: Real-Life Career Advice You Can Actually Use, recently released by Running Press. She blogs at www.karenburnsworkinggirl.com.
Share
retweet
EmailPrint..Karen Burns, On Wednesday September 15, 2010, 11:46 am EDT
Fact: Job hunters obsess about resumes. Who wouldn't? There's so much to get right--functional versus chronological, objective statements (pro and con), key words, templates, references, font size, white space, action verbs, employment gaps, placement and style of bullets, typos, and whether to include hobbies (probably a "no" on that last one).
So much, in fact, that we often forget the most important ingredient of a really great, interview-obtaining, new-job-snagging resume: It needs to be written specifically for the job you're after.
Does that mean you have to do a new resume for every single position you apply for? Yes, that's exactly what it means.
[See 21 Secrets to Getting the Job.]
Fear not, this is not as laborious as it sounds. You don't have to start from scratch each time. All you need to do is edit--or refocus--your "master" resume to sync with the job in question. How?
--First, read and reread the job description. Study it. Ponder it. Identify the words and phrases the employer uses to describe the position.
--Next, take a look your work accomplishments, certifications, education, and experience. You should be keeping lists of all this stuff. This is the raw data you draw on to craft your resumes and cover letters, too.
--Then ask yourself which of your credentials can honestly be described using the same words and phrases the employer uses in the job description.
--Finally, take those words and phrases and use them to describe yourself in your resume. From this point, all you have to do is plug in info from your master resume. See, it's not a total rewrite. In fact, most of your resume will stay the same. You'll find that customizing your resume gets easier each time you do it.
[See more job advice at U.S. News Careers.]
A few more thoughts to consider:
--If you use a career objective at the top of the page, it should include the exact job title of the position you're seeking.
--Remove experience/qualifications that have nothing to do with the job in question. You want to make it easy for employers to see the credentials they most care about.
--Try to figure out what credentials are of highest importance to the employer and put those first. Pretend you are in the employer's shoes and ask yourself, "What's my biggest need? What's most important to me about this job?" Talk to your mentor and contacts in the field. Try to find people who are already doing the job you want and ask them, "What is the most important part of your job?"
--If your past job titles are ambiguous, overly jargony, or don't obviously relate to the job you're applying for, rephrase them in laymen's terms--in a way that shows how those past jobs qualify you for this new job.
So, what's the worst mistake you can make on your resume? Failing to customize. It's a new employment market out there. A cookie-cutter resume just doesn't cut it anymore. You need to show your potential employer that you're applying for this job, not just any job. Good luck.
Karen Burns is the author of the illustrated career advice book The Amazing Adventures of Working Girl: Real-Life Career Advice You Can Actually Use, recently released by Running Press. She blogs at www.karenburnsworkinggirl.com.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
.17 Ways to Safeguard Your Heart
Meet Dr. Goldberg
Twenty years ago, when Nieca Goldberg was in medical school, heart disease was known as a “man’s disease”―something most apt to befall a 55-year-old businessman. Today the disease is the number one killer of U.S. women, claiming nearly 500,000 lives annually. Goldberg, now 50, devotes her career to helping fellow females protect their hearts at Total Heart Care, her practice in New York City. She also teaches the science of heart health as a clinical associate professor of medicine at New York University. But the doctor doesn’t have to look to research for evidence that diet, exercise, and stress management can prevent future problems. Even though she has a family history of heart disease, her habits have kept her health in check. “Making consistent, small, smart choices can have a huge effect,” says Goldberg. To find out how to care for your heart for the long haul, learn from this doctor’s daily practices.
Related: real simple, heart health, exercise, diet, cholesterol.
Comments 1-10 of 554 First« PrevNext »Last.
Posted by Joy in Seattle Fri Sep 10, 2010 8:53pm PDT
#1 Have a low cholesterol breakfast: False
It's been proven that dietary cholesterol does not contribute to increased blood cholesterol levels.
The other stuff is good.
Isn't the jury still out on the benefit of resveratol in red wine?
Hi, i m 58 and i feel quite normal, energetic, sexually activ,thanx to a regimen of cardio and weight-training exercises 5-6 times a week; the secret lies in listening to your body and i m pretty sure the body does not lie but we turn deaf to its needs! Keep thins simple and take one step at a time with uncluttered mind! you r the master of your life and life obeys your command- if they r legitimate!
Yes, a small glass or two of wine a day with meals will help. Reservatrol can also be found in onions but the onions must be digested first whereas it is already available in the wine. Other good things from grapes are grape seed oil. Olive oil is just grand too !
Acohol in any form is beyond a doubt the most devastating item you can ever partake of. My daughter has just been through the Addiction program at a major hospital in Newport Beach, Ca. and I can safely say that I was unaware that alcohol/drugs affect the entire strata of M.D.'s,Atty's, andall walks of life down to teenagers! Miraculous results for those intent on breaking the terrible habit. AA is outstanding now that I understand their focus and results.
Is walking on the job considered a work out for my Heart.....
Alive well now, obamacare is a trojan horse for communisum. live well, develope good habits depend on your own good sense. and therefore count less on government proxy physicians.
2 Oil of oregano caplets everyday is good for the blood and improves the flow of Oxygen to the extremities. I am counter-balancing as of today with a 2 in a.m./2 in p.m. dose of Lovaza 1 gm. I can vouge for the improvement and its effects on my body over all. At 53 carrying about 30 lbs +/- of extra body weight 5' 11 1/2 " I weigh 183-6 depending on the time of day...
I am an avid Coffee drinker, because I dont need anymore calcifications in my kidneys...1/2 pancreas head gone, and no spleen both since 12/2006. Psuedo cyst.(Might have come from drinking Whole milk as a kid). Farmers' daughter.
Over all my "longjevity" is as good as it will be. I had had a total hystorectomy in 1998 (endomitriosis) and took Hormone replacement for one yr. Everything has been great.
Good luck to any of you thinking that you have the percise answer. I think we are healthier longer.
Twenty years ago, when Nieca Goldberg was in medical school, heart disease was known as a “man’s disease”―something most apt to befall a 55-year-old businessman. Today the disease is the number one killer of U.S. women, claiming nearly 500,000 lives annually. Goldberg, now 50, devotes her career to helping fellow females protect their hearts at Total Heart Care, her practice in New York City. She also teaches the science of heart health as a clinical associate professor of medicine at New York University. But the doctor doesn’t have to look to research for evidence that diet, exercise, and stress management can prevent future problems. Even though she has a family history of heart disease, her habits have kept her health in check. “Making consistent, small, smart choices can have a huge effect,” says Goldberg. To find out how to care for your heart for the long haul, learn from this doctor’s daily practices.
Related: real simple, heart health, exercise, diet, cholesterol.
Comments 1-10 of 554 First« PrevNext »Last.
Posted by Joy in Seattle Fri Sep 10, 2010 8:53pm PDT
#1 Have a low cholesterol breakfast: False
It's been proven that dietary cholesterol does not contribute to increased blood cholesterol levels.
The other stuff is good.
Isn't the jury still out on the benefit of resveratol in red wine?
Hi, i m 58 and i feel quite normal, energetic, sexually activ,thanx to a regimen of cardio and weight-training exercises 5-6 times a week; the secret lies in listening to your body and i m pretty sure the body does not lie but we turn deaf to its needs! Keep thins simple and take one step at a time with uncluttered mind! you r the master of your life and life obeys your command- if they r legitimate!
Yes, a small glass or two of wine a day with meals will help. Reservatrol can also be found in onions but the onions must be digested first whereas it is already available in the wine. Other good things from grapes are grape seed oil. Olive oil is just grand too !
Acohol in any form is beyond a doubt the most devastating item you can ever partake of. My daughter has just been through the Addiction program at a major hospital in Newport Beach, Ca. and I can safely say that I was unaware that alcohol/drugs affect the entire strata of M.D.'s,Atty's, andall walks of life down to teenagers! Miraculous results for those intent on breaking the terrible habit. AA is outstanding now that I understand their focus and results.
Is walking on the job considered a work out for my Heart.....
Alive well now, obamacare is a trojan horse for communisum. live well, develope good habits depend on your own good sense. and therefore count less on government proxy physicians.
2 Oil of oregano caplets everyday is good for the blood and improves the flow of Oxygen to the extremities. I am counter-balancing as of today with a 2 in a.m./2 in p.m. dose of Lovaza 1 gm. I can vouge for the improvement and its effects on my body over all. At 53 carrying about 30 lbs +/- of extra body weight 5' 11 1/2 " I weigh 183-6 depending on the time of day...
I am an avid Coffee drinker, because I dont need anymore calcifications in my kidneys...1/2 pancreas head gone, and no spleen both since 12/2006. Psuedo cyst.(Might have come from drinking Whole milk as a kid). Farmers' daughter.
Over all my "longjevity" is as good as it will be. I had had a total hystorectomy in 1998 (endomitriosis) and took Hormone replacement for one yr. Everything has been great.
Good luck to any of you thinking that you have the percise answer. I think we are healthier longer.
Friday, September 10, 2010
..How Not to Buy a Car
..How Not to Buy a Car
by Anna Prior
Friday, September 10, 2010
Share
retweet
EmailPrint.provided by
Buying your first car? Be sure to arm yourself with research before trotting off to the dealership.
More from WSJ.com:
• How to Teach Teen Drivers
• 2011 Chevrolet Cruze: Brand New and Almost Out of Date
• Trying to Unplug and Drive
"Confusion is a car dealer's weapon," says Philip Reed, senior consumer-advice editor at Edmunds.com. "The more focused and in control of the numbers you are," the more likely you'll have a positive outcome.
[Click here to check auto rates in your area.]
Here are four common mistakes first-time car buyers make and how to avoid them.
1. Going to the dealership without financing.
One of the trickiest parts of buying a car is the financing, or loan you have to take out in order to pay for the vehicle.
Popular Stories on Yahoo!:
• Hot Careers and What They Pay
• 5 Innocent Ways to Drive Up Car Insurance
• 8 Steps to Prevent ID Theft
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
More from Yahoo! Finance
"The 0% financing that's advertised is top-tier financing and might not be available for you," says Mr. Reed. "If you don't have a credit history or much of one, you might not have the credit score required for that level of car loan."
That doesn't mean that you can't get a good rate. Just be prepared to shop around. Compare rates at websites like Bankrate.com.
Find out what you qualify for before going to the dealership, so you have a backup in case you get turned down or can negotiate a better interest rate at the dealership.
Say you get approval for up to $25,000 at 6% from a bank and receive a no-obligation check. You then go into the dealership and see if you can do better.
"If they can beat your rate, you go with them," says Mr. Reed. "If they can't beat it, you know you won't be exploited."
2. Not shopping online.
Many dealerships have an Internet department that doesn't get paid on commission like the salespeople.
The buyer benefits because the worker's job is to get volume out the door, which means you are "less likely to have games played with those guys," says Jeff Ostroff, founder of the website CarBuyingTips.com.
Once you've found an acceptable quote and financing, ask if you can have the car delivered to your home. That way, you can skip going to the dealership in person, where the salesperson has the opportunity to rewrite your contract and sell you expensive extras, says Mr. Reed.
To encourage the dealer to deliver the car, make your offer contingent on free delivery.
3. Paying for extras.
VIN etching, dealer prep, fabric protection—these are all unnecessary extras, each costing at least a couple hundred dollars, that a dealer might try to sell you on before you sign the contract.
The one extra that could potentially be of some value, says Mr. Reed, is an extended warranty if you plan on owning the car for a long time. If you go the warranty route, he suggests calling ahead to negotiate the price before showing up to sign the contract. However, even the warranty isn't completely necessary. "I try to buy a very reliable car and just treat it well," says Mr. Reed.
4. Buying a used car without research.
You can't always tell what's wrong with a used car just by looking at it, so be sure to get a copy of the vehicle history report and to have your mechanic check it out.
"Always double protect yourself before buying," says Mr. Ostroff. In addition to checking out the vehicle history on AutoCheck.com or Carfax.com, he suggests having your mechanic put the car up on a lift to check out everything underneath.
Lease the damn car. If you get into a accident, you have their car repaired and you give it back. Today, all dealers have a paint gauge which computes the depth of the paint, and the value of the car goes down by five grand and more once they find out it has been painted. If you like the car, you have a chance to buy it at the end of the lease it's your option. It doesn't cost that much more money for this option and you don't have to hassle with trade in baloney which is where the new car dealers make their money; offers starting at least $3000 below actual value, and sometimes significantly less.
I've notice the best time to lease is at the end of the year, some leases are offered by the auto manufacturer with favorable rates and lower down payments.
To figure out the true cost of a lease multiply the dealers mo cost times times the months, and add the down payment, sales taxes, and bank fees. Divide that number by the months and you have the true number.
BEWARE of dealers that advertise a specific VIN number. What they try to say is that the car is not available or the deal is ONLY for that vehicle and it must be delivered that day. I actually got all the way to the finance guy at a Honda dealer in Mt. Kisco New York, and the guy refused to sell the car because he would take a loss.Reply.0 users liked this comment
0 users disliked this commentCristina 1 minute ago Report Abuse back in 2004, i was 19 yrs old, i went on line i saw the truck of my dreams, trail blazer 2004 brand new! i call the dealer, i schedule a time to see it and drive it, i fell in love! they ask me for my information, they make the copies of what ever they need it, i left with an hour of my arrival, they call me back that evening, i was approved for my loan at the rate of 4%, i said yes and they delivery the blazer next day, on a sunday for free. i had it for 4 years before i passed it on to my brother!
a dealer experience, wow, i spend there hours and hours with a pregnant belly and a guy asking me when was my due day, and i said, "tomorrow if not today"' he laughed, "no seriously, tomorrow, that's why im here today, cause i won't have time for this later", then he did hurry up to get me out of there!Reply.0 users liked this comment
1 minute ago Report Abuse Salesmen are not all so much crooks. Just more like uneducated turds who sit around a heated or cooled building all day talking about sports and golf scores and doing tons of unprioductive things to burn up the day. Then on occasion they get a mibble on the line and get to try and real in their fish.
You know what I like, I like a salesman who knows that car inside and out. They have driven it, or own it and have spent so much time around it they can tell me without a second thought if the headliner is tacked in or glued in. If the hood has lifters or needs to be propped up. They should Live and breath their cars and products, they should not sit around talking about Brett Favre's interception from the night before or other crap. You want to earn that 3 to 4 grand mark up? Then WOW me.
by Anna Prior
Friday, September 10, 2010
Share
retweet
EmailPrint.provided by
Buying your first car? Be sure to arm yourself with research before trotting off to the dealership.
More from WSJ.com:
• How to Teach Teen Drivers
• 2011 Chevrolet Cruze: Brand New and Almost Out of Date
• Trying to Unplug and Drive
"Confusion is a car dealer's weapon," says Philip Reed, senior consumer-advice editor at Edmunds.com. "The more focused and in control of the numbers you are," the more likely you'll have a positive outcome.
[Click here to check auto rates in your area.]
Here are four common mistakes first-time car buyers make and how to avoid them.
1. Going to the dealership without financing.
One of the trickiest parts of buying a car is the financing, or loan you have to take out in order to pay for the vehicle.
Popular Stories on Yahoo!:
• Hot Careers and What They Pay
• 5 Innocent Ways to Drive Up Car Insurance
• 8 Steps to Prevent ID Theft
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
More from Yahoo! Finance
"The 0% financing that's advertised is top-tier financing and might not be available for you," says Mr. Reed. "If you don't have a credit history or much of one, you might not have the credit score required for that level of car loan."
That doesn't mean that you can't get a good rate. Just be prepared to shop around. Compare rates at websites like Bankrate.com.
Find out what you qualify for before going to the dealership, so you have a backup in case you get turned down or can negotiate a better interest rate at the dealership.
Say you get approval for up to $25,000 at 6% from a bank and receive a no-obligation check. You then go into the dealership and see if you can do better.
"If they can beat your rate, you go with them," says Mr. Reed. "If they can't beat it, you know you won't be exploited."
2. Not shopping online.
Many dealerships have an Internet department that doesn't get paid on commission like the salespeople.
The buyer benefits because the worker's job is to get volume out the door, which means you are "less likely to have games played with those guys," says Jeff Ostroff, founder of the website CarBuyingTips.com.
Once you've found an acceptable quote and financing, ask if you can have the car delivered to your home. That way, you can skip going to the dealership in person, where the salesperson has the opportunity to rewrite your contract and sell you expensive extras, says Mr. Reed.
To encourage the dealer to deliver the car, make your offer contingent on free delivery.
3. Paying for extras.
VIN etching, dealer prep, fabric protection—these are all unnecessary extras, each costing at least a couple hundred dollars, that a dealer might try to sell you on before you sign the contract.
The one extra that could potentially be of some value, says Mr. Reed, is an extended warranty if you plan on owning the car for a long time. If you go the warranty route, he suggests calling ahead to negotiate the price before showing up to sign the contract. However, even the warranty isn't completely necessary. "I try to buy a very reliable car and just treat it well," says Mr. Reed.
4. Buying a used car without research.
You can't always tell what's wrong with a used car just by looking at it, so be sure to get a copy of the vehicle history report and to have your mechanic check it out.
"Always double protect yourself before buying," says Mr. Ostroff. In addition to checking out the vehicle history on AutoCheck.com or Carfax.com, he suggests having your mechanic put the car up on a lift to check out everything underneath.
Lease the damn car. If you get into a accident, you have their car repaired and you give it back. Today, all dealers have a paint gauge which computes the depth of the paint, and the value of the car goes down by five grand and more once they find out it has been painted. If you like the car, you have a chance to buy it at the end of the lease it's your option. It doesn't cost that much more money for this option and you don't have to hassle with trade in baloney which is where the new car dealers make their money; offers starting at least $3000 below actual value, and sometimes significantly less.
I've notice the best time to lease is at the end of the year, some leases are offered by the auto manufacturer with favorable rates and lower down payments.
To figure out the true cost of a lease multiply the dealers mo cost times times the months, and add the down payment, sales taxes, and bank fees. Divide that number by the months and you have the true number.
BEWARE of dealers that advertise a specific VIN number. What they try to say is that the car is not available or the deal is ONLY for that vehicle and it must be delivered that day. I actually got all the way to the finance guy at a Honda dealer in Mt. Kisco New York, and the guy refused to sell the car because he would take a loss.Reply.0 users liked this comment
0 users disliked this commentCristina 1 minute ago Report Abuse back in 2004, i was 19 yrs old, i went on line i saw the truck of my dreams, trail blazer 2004 brand new! i call the dealer, i schedule a time to see it and drive it, i fell in love! they ask me for my information, they make the copies of what ever they need it, i left with an hour of my arrival, they call me back that evening, i was approved for my loan at the rate of 4%, i said yes and they delivery the blazer next day, on a sunday for free. i had it for 4 years before i passed it on to my brother!
a dealer experience, wow, i spend there hours and hours with a pregnant belly and a guy asking me when was my due day, and i said, "tomorrow if not today"' he laughed, "no seriously, tomorrow, that's why im here today, cause i won't have time for this later", then he did hurry up to get me out of there!Reply.0 users liked this comment
1 minute ago Report Abuse Salesmen are not all so much crooks. Just more like uneducated turds who sit around a heated or cooled building all day talking about sports and golf scores and doing tons of unprioductive things to burn up the day. Then on occasion they get a mibble on the line and get to try and real in their fish.
You know what I like, I like a salesman who knows that car inside and out. They have driven it, or own it and have spent so much time around it they can tell me without a second thought if the headliner is tacked in or glued in. If the hood has lifters or needs to be propped up. They should Live and breath their cars and products, they should not sit around talking about Brett Favre's interception from the night before or other crap. You want to earn that 3 to 4 grand mark up? Then WOW me.
5 reasons he didn’t call you
5 reasons he didn’t call you
By Evan Marc Katz
Share: Email Facebook Twitter MySpace StumbleUpon reddit Digg Yahoo! Buzz When it comes to off-putting dating behavior, men commit plenty of dumb moves. He wears sneakers at a nice restaurant. He goes on and on about his boring job. He asks you pretty much nothing about yourself… and still tries for a good-night kiss at the end of the date (as if). If you find yourself on a date like this, I don’t blame you for passing on another encounter. But what about those cases where the guy does win you over… and yet never calls again? Have you ever stopped to wonder what went wrong? While you might think winning a man’s heart largely boils down to your looks, you’re wrong. Below are five key things that well-intentioned women do that make men bail. Keep them in mind as you search for your Mr. Right.
Reason #1: You talk, but don’t listen
Women are sharers. It’s culturally ingrained. You may talk to your best friend or mom five times a day and think nothing of it. Every detail is relevant, and nothing can be left out in the telling of a story. Problem is, men don’t generally communicate that way. So try to consider the ebb and flow of a normal conversation. If he hasn’t spoken in awhile, ask him a question (and not a vague “So tell me about you,” which will make feel self-conscious and put on the spot). If he’s telling a story, try doing a follow-up query instead of refocusing the spotlight on yourself (“You like to travel? Let me tell you about how I backpacked through the Amazon!”). And if it’s occurred to you that you haven’t yet learned a thing about your date, try listening for a bit. It’s not that we’re not interested in getting to know you, it’s that we’d be thrilled if you were interested in getting to know us, too. Browse Local Singles at Match.com on Yahoo!
I am a: Man Woman Seeking a: Man Woman Near:
Reason #2: You use conversation as therapy
Talking about your evil ex-boyfriend. Talking about your hatred of your job. Talking about your strained relationship with your mother. It’s not that the bad stuff is irrelevant, it’s that it’s inappropriate. Being negative might be an effective way of winning an election, but it’s not exactly endearing on a date. Even if you feel compelled to touch on such subjects, consider your tone when doing so. And consider how you’d feel if a man were to share his inner turmoil with you too soon.
Reason #3: You’re a little too enthusiastic about him
It’s normal to get excited about a date with potential. It’s normal to consider what kind of husband that date might be. It was also normal to write your grade school crush’s name on the back of your notebook… but you wouldn’t show it to him, would you? Of course not! There’s an unwritten rule in dating that governs the energy flow between a man and a woman: when one party tries too hard, the other party pulls back. If a stranger has ever bought you a costly gift on the first date or called you seven times the day after you had coffee, you know what I mean. We’re not saying you should act cold; just don’t get carried away in front of him. Keep your projections to yourself until you have a better idea whether your affections are reciprocated or not.
Reason #4: Your idea of chit-chat is politics, religion and other heavy topics
So you don’t complain about your ex, your boss or your mom. But you have a bone to pick with the President, the U.N. and the Pope. Hey, if your date is up for a surprise appearance on Meet the Press, that’s cool. Just know that not everybody likes to swim in the deep end of the pool so early. Sometimes, you’re better off sticking with banter about favorite travel spots or good movies or even funny online dates from the past. It’s not that intellectual topics should be off-limits, but until you know where someone lands on the political spectrum, you may want to tread lightly.
Reason #5: You’re not relating to him — you’re testing him
Dating should be fun. Getting to know a fascinating stranger, sharing information about yourself to an interested date… these are the things that keep us optimistic about the process. Where it all goes wrong is when you inadvertently turn him into a defendant and yourself into the prosecuting attorney. “How long was your last relationship?” “Where do you see yourself in two years?” “Do you want kids someday?”
The answers to these questions are really important — they may well determine whether you choose to see him again — but great dates do not occur on a hot seat or under a microscope. Try reading between the lines instead of asking him these things point-blank.
Evan Marc Katz is an online dating coach, the CEO of profile writing service, E-Cyrano.com and the author of Why You’re Still Single: Things Your Friends Would Tell You If You Promised Not to Get Mad. He can be reached at www.evanmarckatz.com.
By Evan Marc Katz
Share: Email Facebook Twitter MySpace StumbleUpon reddit Digg Yahoo! Buzz When it comes to off-putting dating behavior, men commit plenty of dumb moves. He wears sneakers at a nice restaurant. He goes on and on about his boring job. He asks you pretty much nothing about yourself… and still tries for a good-night kiss at the end of the date (as if). If you find yourself on a date like this, I don’t blame you for passing on another encounter. But what about those cases where the guy does win you over… and yet never calls again? Have you ever stopped to wonder what went wrong? While you might think winning a man’s heart largely boils down to your looks, you’re wrong. Below are five key things that well-intentioned women do that make men bail. Keep them in mind as you search for your Mr. Right.
Reason #1: You talk, but don’t listen
Women are sharers. It’s culturally ingrained. You may talk to your best friend or mom five times a day and think nothing of it. Every detail is relevant, and nothing can be left out in the telling of a story. Problem is, men don’t generally communicate that way. So try to consider the ebb and flow of a normal conversation. If he hasn’t spoken in awhile, ask him a question (and not a vague “So tell me about you,” which will make feel self-conscious and put on the spot). If he’s telling a story, try doing a follow-up query instead of refocusing the spotlight on yourself (“You like to travel? Let me tell you about how I backpacked through the Amazon!”). And if it’s occurred to you that you haven’t yet learned a thing about your date, try listening for a bit. It’s not that we’re not interested in getting to know you, it’s that we’d be thrilled if you were interested in getting to know us, too. Browse Local Singles at Match.com on Yahoo!
I am a: Man Woman Seeking a: Man Woman Near:
Reason #2: You use conversation as therapy
Talking about your evil ex-boyfriend. Talking about your hatred of your job. Talking about your strained relationship with your mother. It’s not that the bad stuff is irrelevant, it’s that it’s inappropriate. Being negative might be an effective way of winning an election, but it’s not exactly endearing on a date. Even if you feel compelled to touch on such subjects, consider your tone when doing so. And consider how you’d feel if a man were to share his inner turmoil with you too soon.
Reason #3: You’re a little too enthusiastic about him
It’s normal to get excited about a date with potential. It’s normal to consider what kind of husband that date might be. It was also normal to write your grade school crush’s name on the back of your notebook… but you wouldn’t show it to him, would you? Of course not! There’s an unwritten rule in dating that governs the energy flow between a man and a woman: when one party tries too hard, the other party pulls back. If a stranger has ever bought you a costly gift on the first date or called you seven times the day after you had coffee, you know what I mean. We’re not saying you should act cold; just don’t get carried away in front of him. Keep your projections to yourself until you have a better idea whether your affections are reciprocated or not.
Reason #4: Your idea of chit-chat is politics, religion and other heavy topics
So you don’t complain about your ex, your boss or your mom. But you have a bone to pick with the President, the U.N. and the Pope. Hey, if your date is up for a surprise appearance on Meet the Press, that’s cool. Just know that not everybody likes to swim in the deep end of the pool so early. Sometimes, you’re better off sticking with banter about favorite travel spots or good movies or even funny online dates from the past. It’s not that intellectual topics should be off-limits, but until you know where someone lands on the political spectrum, you may want to tread lightly.
Reason #5: You’re not relating to him — you’re testing him
Dating should be fun. Getting to know a fascinating stranger, sharing information about yourself to an interested date… these are the things that keep us optimistic about the process. Where it all goes wrong is when you inadvertently turn him into a defendant and yourself into the prosecuting attorney. “How long was your last relationship?” “Where do you see yourself in two years?” “Do you want kids someday?”
The answers to these questions are really important — they may well determine whether you choose to see him again — but great dates do not occur on a hot seat or under a microscope. Try reading between the lines instead of asking him these things point-blank.
Evan Marc Katz is an online dating coach, the CEO of profile writing service, E-Cyrano.com and the author of Why You’re Still Single: Things Your Friends Would Tell You If You Promised Not to Get Mad. He can be reached at www.evanmarckatz.com.
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