Marriage Quotes

Marriage Quotes


“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." -Groucho Marx

"The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once." -H.V. Prochnow

"I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it." -Lyndon B. Johnson

"A man's wife has more power over him than the state has." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

"My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't." - Unknown

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
“I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." -Rodney Dangerfield

"Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After u get used to it, it ain't so hot."-Minnie Pearl

"Behind every great man there is a surprised woman." -Maryon Pearson

"They say love’s blind...& marriage is an institution. Well, I'm not ready for an institution for the blind just yet."- Mae West"

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too." -H.L. Mencken

"A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished." -Zsa Zsa Gabor

"No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single." -H.L. Mencken

"A wedding is just like a funeral, except that you- get- to- smell your own flowers." -Grace Hansen

"If nature arranged that husbands & wives should have children…alternatively, there’d never be more than three in a family." -Lawrence Housman

"Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women." -Marion Smith

"Why does a gal work ten years to change a man's habits & then complain that he's not the man she married?" B. Streisand

"Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery." -Erma Bombeck"

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never slept alone until I was married."-Lewis Grizzard

"There's a way of transferring funds that’s faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." -James Holt McGavran