men and women speak

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish..................49.

Adventurous.............Slept with everyone.

Athletic................No breasts.

Average looking.........Moooo.

Beautiful...............Pathological liar.

Emotionally Secure......On medication.

Feminist................Fat.

Free Spirit.............Junkie.

Friendship first........Former Slut.

New-Age.................Body hair in the wrong places.

Old-fashioned...........No B.J.'s

Open-minded.............Desperate.

Out going...............Loud and embarrassing.

Professional............Bitch.

Voluptuous..............Very fat.

Large frame.............Hugely fat.

Wants soul mate.........Stalker.

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH

Yes.....................No

No......................Yes

Maybe...................No

We need.................I want

I'm sorry...............You'll be sorry

We need to talk........ You're in trouble

Sure, go ahead..........You better not

Do what you want........You'll pay for this later

I am not upset..........Of course, I'm upset, you moron!

You're so attentive.....Is sex all you ever think of?

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH

I'm hungry........................................I'm hungry.

I'm sleepy.............................................I'm sleepy.

I'm tired.....................................................I'm tired.

Nice dress..........................................Nice cleavage!

I love you............................................Let's do it now!

I am bored...............................Do you want to do it?

May I have this dance?.................. I want to do you.

Can I call you sometime?.................I want to do you.

Do you want to go to a movie?.........I want to do you.

I would like you out to dinner?.........I want to do you.

Those shoes don’t go with that outfit...............I'm gay.