Thursday, January 14, 2010

Stimulus payment

Stimulus payment

What to do when you get your check?

Just in Case You are a Senior and Get a Check for $250...

By end of this year, we seniors will again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting program. I'll explain it using the Q and A format:

------------ --------- ---------
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is $ Uncle Sam sends taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get the $?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own $?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for u to buy a high-def TV to stimulate the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating Asia's economy?
A. Shut up or u won't get your check.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

1. Spend it at Wal-Mart, it'll go to China.
2. Spend it on gas & it'll go to Saudi Arabia.
3. Buy a computer, it'll go to India.
4. Buy fruit & veges, it'll go to Mexico, Honduras or Guatemala.
5. Buy a car, it'll go to Japan or Korea.
6. Buy useless plastic stuff, it'll go to Taiwan.
7. Pay off credit cards, or buy stock, it'll go to management bonuses & hidden in offshore accounts.

Or, you can keep the money in America by:
1. Spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or
2. Going to baseball or football games, or
3. Hiring prostitutes, or
4. Buying cheap beer or
5. Getting tattoos.

These are the only wholly-American- owned businesses still operating in the US.


The best way to stimulate the economy is go to a ball game with a prostitute that u met at a yard sale & drink beer all day until u are drunk enough to go get tattooed.

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