Sunday, September 13, 2015

5 life lessons

AN OLD -WOMAN TIED HER OLD, MULE TO THE HITCHING POST.
AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE & CLOTHES, A YOUNG, GUNSLINGER STEPPED -OUT OF THE SALOON ,WITH A GUN IN ONE -HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. HE LOOKED AT HER & LOL, "HEY, OLD- WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?"

THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED -UP AT THE GUNSLINGER & SAID, "NO,... I NEVER DID DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."

A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS HE GRINNED & SAID, "WELL, YOU OLD- "BAG". YOU'RE GONNA DANCE, NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT HER FEET.

NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF --SHE STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY LOL. WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LOL, HOLSTERED HIS GUN & TURNED -AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON.

THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED- SHOTGUN, & COCKED BOTH HAMMERS.

THE LOUD, CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR, & THE CROWD STOPPED LOL, IMMEDIATELY
.
THE YOUNG, GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS, TOO, & TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE CROWD WATCHED AS HE STARED AT HER & THE LARGE, GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.

THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A MULE'S ASS?"

THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD & SAID, "NO M'AM...
BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO.

THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US:

1 - Never be arrogant.
2 - Don't waste ammunition.
3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
4 - Always make sure you know who has the power.
5 - Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid.

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