Abbott & Costello: updated for new Millennium

Abbott & Costello: updated for new Millennium

A: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

C: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, & thinking about buying a computer.

A: Mac?

C: No, the name's Lou

A: Your computer?

C: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

A: Mac?

C: I told you, my name's Lou.

A: What about Windows?

C: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

A: Do you want a computer with windows?

C: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?

A: Wallpaper.

C: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

A: Software for windows?

C: No. On the computer! I write proposals, track expenses & run my business. What do u have?

A: Office.

C: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

A: I just did.

C: You just did what?

A: Recommend something.

C: You recommended something?

A: Yes.

C: For my office?

A: Yes.

C: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

A: Office.

C: Yes, for my office!

A: I recommend office with windows.

C: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets say, I'm sitting at my computer & wanna type a proposal. What do I need?

A: Word.

C: What word?

A: Word in Office.

C: The only word in office is office.

A: The Word in Office for Windows.

C: Which word in office for windows?

A: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."

C: I'm gonna click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

A: Yes, you want Real One.

C: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!

A: Real One.

C: If it’s a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?

A: Of course.

C: Great, with what?

A: Real One.

C: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?

A: You click the blue "1."

C: I click the blue one what?

A: The blue "1."

C: Is that different from the blue w?

A: The blue 1 is Real One and the blue W is Word.

C: What word?

A: The Word in Office for Windows.

C: But there's three words in "office for windows"!

A: No, just one. But, it’s the most popular Word in the world.

C: It is?

A: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out the others.

C: And that word is real one?

A: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even Part of Office.

C: Stop! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? Have anything to track $?

A: Money.

C: That's right. What do you have?

A: Money.

C: I need money to track my money?
A: It comes bundled with your computer.

C: What's bundled to my computer?

A: Money.

C: Money comes with my computer?

A: Yes. No extra charge.

C: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

A: One copy.

C: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

A: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.

C: They can give you a license to copy money?

A: Why not? THEY OWN IT! (LATER)

C: How do I turn my computer off?

A: Click on "START"..........