Hell: Explained by a Chemistry Student.

Dear Friends: Whether you like chemistry or not will not diminish your enjoyment of this "academic" item.

Of course, you may read it just "for the hell of it." ~ Bing

HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT:

The following is an actual question given on a- University- of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via

the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as- well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands

and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at

which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving I think that we can safely

assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how

many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you’re not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions & since people do not belong to more than one

religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth & death rates as they are, we can

expect the number of souls in Hell to increase-exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order

for the temperature & pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand

proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the

temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature

and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman Year that, "It will be a

cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last

night, then # two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already

frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not

accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the

existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!"

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+!