Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Abbott and Costello: updated for new Millennium

Abbott & Costello: updated for new Millennium

A: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
C: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, & thinking about buying a computer.
A: Mac?
C: No, the name's Lou.
A: Your computer?
C: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
A: Mac?
C: I told you, my name's Lou.
A: What about Windows?
C: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
A: Do you want a computer with windows?
C: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
A: Wallpaper.
C: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
A: Software for windows?
C: No. On the computer! I write proposals, track expenses & run my business.
What do u got?
A: Office.
C: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
A: I just did.
C: You just did what?
A: Recommend something.
C: You recommended something?
A: Yes.
C: For my office?
A: Yes.
C: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
A: Office.
C: Yes, for my office!
A: I recommend office with windows.
C: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets say, I'm sitting at my computer & wanna type
a proposal. What do I need?
A: Word.
C: What word?
A: Word in Office.
C: The only word in office is office.
A: The Word in Office for Windows.
C: Which word in office for windows?
A: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."
C: I'm gonna click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers.
OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
A: Yes, you want Real One.
C: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
A: Real One.
C: If it’s a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?
A: Of course.
C: Great, with what?
A: Real One.
C: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
A: You click the blue "1."
C: I click the blue one what?
A: The blue "1."
C: Is that different from the blue w?
A: The blue 1 is Real One and the blue W is Word.
C: What word?
A: The Word in Office for Windows.
C: But there's three words in "office for windows"!
A: No, just one. But, it’s the most popular Word in the world.
C: It is?
A: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out the others.
C: And that word is real one?
A: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even Part of Office.
C: Stop! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? Have anything to track $?
A: Money.
C: That's right. What do you have?
A: Money.
C: I need money to track my money?
A: It comes bundled with your computer.
C: What's bundled to my computer?
A: Money.
C: Money comes with my computer?
A: Yes. No extra charge.
C: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
A: One copy.
C: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
A: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
C: They can give you a license to copy money?
A: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
C: How do I turn my computer off?
A: Click on "START"..........

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