We got a champion barista to rank the sub-par coffee your parents drink
For coffee aficionados, it can be hard to remember the days before fair-trade, adjective-heavy specialty coffee. But before Counter Culture, or even Starbucks, there were first-wave roasters peddling steel cans of grounds (gasp!), the likes of which are now only seen on visits to your parents' house.
So to see if any of these coffees are actually good to the last drop, we asked Lorenzo Perkins, certified coffee instructor at Cuvée and executive council member of the Barista Guild of America, to put five of the biggest coffee brands through the same rigorous blind-tasting process that his roasting company applies to their own beans.
"This is actually something I think all my colleagues should do. When you're only drinking specialty coffee, you lose that global perspective."
Aromas: Wet dog, burning
Flavors: Fish oil, despair
"What death tastes like."
Flavors: Fish oil, despair
"What death tastes like."
Aromas: Snickers bar, barn-y
Flavors: Mineral oil, chocolate
"This tastes better than it smells. It's a close call with Maxwell House, but this edged it out because I can actually swallow it. Bonus points for pleasant graphic design."
"This tastes better than it smells. It's a close call with Maxwell House, but this edged it out because I can actually swallow it. Bonus points for pleasant graphic design."
Aromas: Unhappy children, wet wool
Flavors: Charred, wet cardboard, artificiality
"It tastes as if someone sprayed coffee flavor onto coffee beans."
Flavors: Charred, wet cardboard, artificiality
"It tastes as if someone sprayed coffee flavor onto coffee beans."
2. CHOCK FULL O'NUTS
Aromas: Burnt hair
Flavors: Roasted Styrofoam, gamey
"It's savory, kind of like you're eating wild boar meat that's about to turn. That said, this isn't that bad. I wouldn't return it if I was eating in a Denny's."
"It's savory, kind of like you're eating wild boar meat that's about to turn. That said, this isn't that bad. I wouldn't return it if I was eating in a Denny's."
1. COMMUNITY COFFEE
Aromas: Chocolate, honey, wet paperFlavors: Actual acidity, syrup-like sweetness, oh-sweet-surrender & mercy
"That's coffee! This could pass for a low-grade specialty coffee."
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