3/2/09 I, ________________________________________, being of sound mind (believe it or not) & body, hereby agree to rent free for 30 days before I adopt Mitch, despite his being politically incorrect.
Because Jews are the Chosen Ones he’s the (pick as many as u like) long, long, lost, son/ nephew/ boyfriend/ husband/ best friend/brother/cousin/in-law/cousin-in-law, 9th cousin-in law thrice removed, I always wanted, but never had! Being an orphan adopting him will ensure a Super, Deluxe Cloud with my name on it in big, Gold letters, when my time comes. Plus he’s so analytical, articulate, candid, discerning, faithful/loyal (MORE than a dog), handsome clever, funny, thoughtful, wise, witty, modest (you’d never know it), romantic, very special, honest, candid, tall, hard working, an animal lover (talks to them in Yinglish so they’ll be truly multi-cultural) insightful, patriotic, great bargain-hunter, much more lovable than any cat, truly values women’s thoughts/feelings, sincere, a good writer, Mr. Consideration & Understanding, a truly eligible bachelor, throws great surprise parties, cooks, spiritual, would be great for show & tell, are a sivvell- curventt, eduumakitedd, grraaeettt ssppelorrr, Innggglucsch Teecshrrr, etc.
All that makes him a real prize, good- catch & a great bargain, especially since he’s a Jewish mom’s 5th dream: a teacher with a Master’s Degree (dr., lawyer, account & engineer are 1 – 4).
I’m so flattered, lucky & truly blessed that he would even consider, much less choose me. And have no doubt that he will enrich the quality of my life and bring me joy beyond my wildest dreams! I always wanted a teacher/writer/comic in the family. And look forward to bouncing him on my knee/the “pitter-patter” of him running around the house.
Adopting him is by far the smartest thing I ever did! He’s an Angel of humor, makes a wonderful gift for any occasion as he keeps on giving laughter 365 days a year, year after year, long after the Eveready Energizer bunny died. And is the jackpot that pays off for life. NO sane person could refuse. I’ll be TRULY BLESSED to have him.
All my friends & neighbors will envy me when I adopt him. They’ll all want me to share him. Maybe one day we can clone him. Check out his Google Blog: mrmitch06 And do NOT hesitate! Call 1 - 888 – ADOPT ME, or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org, NOW.