Top of the Heap

1/9/07- "The Top Of -The Heap" by Marty Schwartz & M. Asinoff – his idea – 95% me.

Guess what! You know how people, happiness, security and love are measured in money? And success is the best perfume? Well, guess what! I'm "drenched" in it…and “reeking"! I just got a great job…as a garbage man! Yes!…A garbage man! That isn't just a huge aspiration in places like N.Y.C... It's a major status symbol...like a blue-collar, accountant!

George A. Romero’s (horror film- maker) dad told him to start -working on his pension early and be a-garbage –man when he graduated high school. George knew actors and athletes make a fortune and being a garbage man wasn’t for him.

But it is for me! I'm happy! I made it! Now I can afford to look and act- like a real big shot! Hell, now I can afford to hang out in night-clubs on weekends and tell babes I'm “connected”. Women like bad boys. We’re exciting.

So what if I -get a little creative with the truth? They'll “buy” it when they see my big wad of bills & gold chains. I won't tell them I'll be picking-up trash Monday or the Lincoln’s my dad's. I grew up on the streets & never was, or pretended to be real smart. Although I worked very hard on my MFBHT: Masters in Football, Baseball, Hockey, & TV! I guess I glorify & idolize athletes & like TV like many Americans.

You know something? My smart friends on Wall Street and in computers who still have jobs are terrified of being let-go. Management wants more $ every year. To raise profits corporations are in merger "mania" & outsourcing. You must train your replacement to get severance pay and a reference. Not that references matter. There are no jobs. People delete degrees from their resumes cause they’re-.over qualified for many jobs It’s no wonder they stop looking and owe Visa their “third born”, despite having college degrees.

The rich are getting richer, the poor, poorer and the middle class “beaten down.” You get a tax rebate. And it’s-income you get re-taxed on! That should be illegal! At least a mugger uses a gun or knife.

I have pals who live home, rent free and can’t support their pets, much less themselves, despite being thrifty, college grads. They oscillate from anger, depression, demoralization, frustration to emasculation. A job’s a big part of- who guys are. People can’t buy new cars @ 0% for six years & employee discounts. Lucky we live longer cause they’ll be paying their “master”…card till they’re 100 cause interest rates catapult if you’re late, or miss a payment.

Retirement’s “mission impossible”: the govt. cut Medicare/SS & finds new taxes/harasses motorists…in a blackout to pay interest on an exploding deficit, cause although I must balance my budget the govt. won’t do its & international companies only loyalty is $. They shift profits overseas to avoid taxes/raise profits. President Bush helps them by cutting their taxes during war & raising lower/middle class’.

It’s hard to believe growing up in the 60’s and 70’s my dad was a mechanic, supported mom, four kids and subsidized his mom & uncle. We- had a house and car. And all he owed was a mortgage. Ironically, he just has a H.S. Diploma and did it on under $150 a week, gross, with inflation! Gas was 20 cents.

If the Labor Dept. says costs rose, the Stock Market plummets! People aren’t assets to nurture anymore. We’re disposable appliances/expenses to cut. Downsizing is the buzz word of the 80’s & 90’s & outsourcing the new Millennium. Companies move overseas, hire needy immigrants, part-timers, temps, independent contractors, fire- people to save severance pay. And have accountants double as advisors to find very creative ways to inflate stock prices & “reinvent” math: 1+ 1 = anything you want…until “big brother busts” you.

There are so few employees left and so much work there's no lunch, raise, bonus, or profit sharing. People must do two or three- jobs, are on salary & must work O.T. free to save the company money. If they gripe, they’re fired.

The govt. does it too: the Post Office hires for their special: no holiday pay & after 89 days you're “canned”. So you don't get benefits. If you're good, they rehire you a day later for another 89 days & it begins again. This saves a fortune & insures big shots’ raises and bonuses!
The govt. says unemployment's down. But not how many took big pay cuts, are p/t, or temp! I'm no economist. But wonder how people who lose their jobs can afford to buy homes and cars? And what happens if those who aren't let- go, fear they're next, so they don't? This doesn't seem like a- plan for long-term success.

Henry Ford knew it’s-good business to give his men a raise so they could buy a Model T! His great, grandson, Bill’s CEO, closing -plants & firing 35G cause labor pays for management’s ineptness & the Japanese beat us @ our own game: thinking long term/making compacts.
Luckily, I won't have to worry about all that. I've got good pay/ benefits. I should- be cloned because they can put a man on the Moon & a robot on Mars, but they still need me to collect trash! That's job security! Maybe I’m smarter than my successful pals: I'll retire in 20 years at half pay! I’m not worried cause-l-bought a house with the $ I saved on college. So I can’t be screwed by an Enron, MCI or shady broker.

I’d consider teaching, if it didn’t cost thousands to get degrees so demonic/drug-addicted/ ”possessed”/sadistic/uncivilized/ unloved/ unwanted/violent/kids & parents can curse/threaten me. No one bothers garbage men. We’re not crazy. We don't go “postal”.
Besides, education's a paradox today: a Bachelor's Degree equals a high school diploma 20 years ago. You need college for most jobs & people assume if you went you're smart. Unfortunately, there are so many doctors & lawyers it's "degree inflation". Many people work so hard and borrow a small fortune to be one, yet can't even get a job making enough to repay their loans because paralegals & physician’s assistants earn a fraction of their salary because all they need’s a Bachelor’s to examine patients/write prescriptions. President Clintons said there are too many doctors. So the Federal Government will pay hospitals not to hire any.

Employers begrudge you a life/are “vampires”/want to “own” your heart/soul. They settle for mind & body. Companies make workers take pay cuts, forfeit health care & pension or take early retirement, rob ½ their pension to keep their job, while & fire them when they reach early retirement so the big boys get larger raises/retention bonuses every year, even if the company loses $. They’re fired before eligible for early retirement bonus. So the can be replaced by a temp, p/t, or outsourced for less. There are-so many unemployed, college grads, employers are so picky.

So, maybe I'm wrong, but the way I see it, at this rate if we're not the world -leader in technology in the new millennium, we will be in garbage pick-up! Who needs college? I'm "King of the Hill"! I reached the "top of the garbage heap" without it! And I graduated high school with a D average! Talk about irony!